Ah yes. What would a how-to guide article be without inside tips to baby showers? These are the tried, tested, and sometimes regrettable details that you really need to know in order to create, management, and complete a perfect baby shower. You’ll likely find some of these to be common-sense; though a few may surprise you.
It’s these strange ones that are the most important to you, because heeding the advice – to do or not to do them – can be the difference between making your baby shower memorable for the right reasons, or for the wrong ones. As you plan and roll-out more baby showers (because you’ll be so good at this one people will want to consult your services!), your list of dos and dont’s will increase. Keep a journal handy to jot these insights and experienced down as you go.
It goes without saying (but let’s say it anyway, since we’re all here together!). PLEASE PLAN YOUR BABY SHOWER AHEAD OF TIME! You may be one of those very talented people who tend to do things without a lot of planning; you just have a flair for pulling things off, and often, for pulling them out just in the nick of time. If this sounds like you, then you should really heed these sage word: PLEASE PLAN AHEAD!
The thing about a baby shower is that there are a lot of variables that come together to determine whether it succeeds or doesn’t succeed. As you know from reading the first section in this book, everything from choosing the time of year for the shower, to the amount of time to “RSVP” the invitations, are elements that can influence the shower. Or to put things more frankly: if something is wrong in any of these elements, then they will almost certainly negatively influence the overall baby shower experience.
So how do you deal with this? Simply by planning ahead. Have a plan – write it out! – and see what you have to do, and in what timeframe. If you need help, then talk to the mother-to-be and recruit some deputies. If you need assistance making a decision – such as who to invite – then get the help that you need. By planning, you’re able to see what you need to do, and therefore, you can go ahead and do it.
On the flipside, when you don’t plan, you are almost certainly going to overlook a detail or two. At the time, they may seem minor (“do I really need to follow-up with people who haven’t RSVP’d the invitation?”). Yet once the shower actually happens, it’s kind of like racing a car in the Indy 500: if there are flaws, they will be exposed. So don’t let your little details come back to bite you, or any of the other guests (including the mother-to-be). If you aren’t a good planner, then here’s your opportunity to become one. It’s not that hard at all; it just requires a little effort (that goes a long way!).
One of the most memorable things about the baby shower will be the decorations. They might seem like yet another minor detail in a sea of details, but they will be something that people notice, appreciate, and indeed, remember.
You don’t have to go overboard on the decorations, and you don’t have to spend a lot of money. In fact, the biggest investment here will probably be your time. Simply choose the decorations that reflect the theme that you’ve chosen. You may want to consult the mother-to-be on the decorations. For example, if the mother-to-be is deathly afraid of spiders, a Charlotte’s Web theme with giant spider decorations probably isn’t the wisest decision to make.
Perhaps more than ever before, people are very serious about what they eat; and what they don’t. In the past, it was somewhat safe to make catering decisions based on religious or cultural understanding. For instance, many Catholics don’t eat red meat on Friday. As such, if the guest list included people who you knew followed this practice, you would simply include non red-meat alternatives, such as seafood. Or if your guests were Jewish, you wouldn’t serve pork.
While these cultural catering rules still certainly apply, more people these days are choosing to eat based on lifestyle choices, not just religious or spiritual ones. Many people, for example, don’t eat foods that contain trans-fats. Or many people don’t eat foods that are high in carbohydrates, or proteins (it’s hard to tell which one is good these days, and which one is bad!). There are also many more practicing vegetarians in the western world right now; and that, too, can be a little confusing. Some people who describe themselves as vegetarians will eat fish. Some will drink milk. Some won’t eat cheese or honey.
For fun, log onto the website of any international airline, like American Airways or Delta, for example. And within their site, just check out the in-flight hospitality section to see the different kinds of meals that are available. You’ll be amazed at how many different categories of food there are. You’ll find everything from low-calorie to lacto-vegetarian, to low-carbohydrate to low-sodium, and even more. Now, don’t worry: you don’t have to serve dozens of kinds of food! The idea here is simply to be aware that in the world today, people are much more informed about what they’ll eat; and what they won’t.
So when you make your catering decisions, try and think outside of the box a little. This means, see if any choices that you’re making could limit your guests’ enjoyment of a particular food. For example, if you’re ordering little finger sandwiches, it may be wise to have cold cuts on a separate plate that people can pick and choose from at their discretion. Those who don’t want cold cuts (for any reason, including taste preference) can simply not pick them up.
Also consider the types of foods that you offer. If your guest list is going to be predominantly filled with senior citizens, foods like celery – which are murder on dentures! – isn’t a good idea. Before we go onto the next do, please take a moment to consider whether you’ll have alcohol at the baby shower. Now, this book is not a legal guide and nothing within it, naturally, should be seen as legal advice. However, according to media reports, there have been some cases where people at parties consumed too much alcohol and, as a result, injured themselves and other people. This is tragic enough, but to add even more unhappiness, the party hosts were also seen as partly liable.
Now, these isolated cases which have garnered so much media attention were for holiday and new year’s eve-type parties, where alcohol is considered a party staple. It’s hard to imagine a baby shower where anyone would drink past the point of sensible. Yet it can happen, and it’s something that you simply need to be mindful of. So if you are going to serve alcohol of any kind – be it punch or wine or wine coolers, etc. – then make sure that you do what you need to do to cut people off who may not know when to stop. Or, like many people, you can just choose to have an alcohol-free baby shower and not give it a second thought! The choice is yours (and presumably the parents-to-be), but it’s something worth discussion beforehand.
Baby showers are wonderful events filled with relaxing laughter and shared positive emotions. Yet all good things come to and end. Or rather, all good things should come to an end while they’re still good things. This means, simply, that you should have a clear end-time for the baby shower. This allows guests to efficiently plan their day, and it also gives everyone a chance to leave at the same time and not appear impolite for “having to run and miss all of the fun”. You don’t have to monitor the baby shower so that is stays precisely on schedule; this isn’t a job, remember, and there are no shareholders! While you’ll certainly want to usher the baby shower through its various phases (such as moving from games to food with enough time for people to eat), the important thing here is that the baby shower should end on time.
We’ve come a long way from charades. Now, there are shelves full of games specifically designed for adults. Some of these games, as you can imagine – or might have even enjoyed yourself a time or two – are of the… er…well, they can be a bit racy. And they can ask awkward questions and inspire awkward moments; because that’s part of the fun of the game. Now, you simply don’t want the word “awkward” to be anywhere near your baby shower. In fact, you want to keep awkward at least 500 feet away from your baby shower at all times. So to help do this, ensure that the games you choose are suitable for everyone and won’t lead to awkward situations. Also, think even further than whether the game itself is intended for “adults only”. Some games, like Twister, aren’t typically enjoyed by people who may be obese, or who are afflicted with a physical limitation.
For example, if one of your guests is confined to a wheelchair, then having a game that requires mobility – like Twister, or a rousing rendition of musical chairs – can be very awkward. It can actually inspire hurt feelings. Naturally, you can’t be expected to plan ahead for every eventuality. You won’t know, for instance, that one of the guests had a very traumatic piñata experience as a child, and therefore runs out of the room screaming when she sees one of them flying through the air. So what should you do when you can’t know everything that there is to know? Simple: just have a few options. Keep a few back-up games handy, just in case you detect that people are uncomfortable with the choices. It sounds like a little thing, but it can truly make the difference between keeping awkward at bay, or having it crash the baby shower.
Some people like eating while standing up; particularly kids, who always seem to be on the go and ready to do the next thing. Some of them even eat while doing something else, like walking or talking on the phone. However, it’s safe to assume that your baby shower guests aren’t going to be that frenetic with their movements. They’ll likely want to peacefully sit down and eat; and that’s why you must ensure that they have somewhere to sit, and a place to eat.
This is an oversight that a lot of very well-intentioned baby shower producers make. The thing is, it’s sometimes very hard to envision just how much table and chair space is necessary. A room may look very spacious, but fill it with 15 people or more, and it can become very cramped. Again, the solution to this is in the word plan. Take a good look at the space in which the baby shower will take place. Literally count the number of sitting spaces, and the number of table spaces. If there aren’t enough of both to comfortably serve the number of people attending, then you need to do something about this.
A quick and easy solution could be renting fold-away tables and chairs that can be brought out and then put away when the food is finished. Or, if the weather is nice, you can maybe count on doing things outside. If you do this, however, keep in mind that some people may still want to eat inside. Furthermore, always bear in mind that weather predictions are simply that: predictions. Don’t overestimate that accuracy of a sunny forecast; we’ve all woken up to thunderstorms on the day of the big picnic.
Also keep in mind that in western culture (e.g. American, Canadian, and some parts of Western Europe), personal space is generally seen as larger than those in other countries. You can visibly see this if you ride the subway in, say, New York compared to Tokyo. When possible, the New Yorkers will allow for about 2 feet of personal space around each person. Of course, in rush hour this isn’t possible, but otherwise the 2-foot-rule is generally held.
In Tokyo, however, the personal space expectations are around 1 foot; regardless of density of the subway car. People in Japan are simply more comfortable with a 1 foot personal space orbit, while people in the US are simply more comfortable with a 2+ foot orbit. What does this mean to you? It means that you should be aware of the personal space needs of your guests; because if you aren’t, then they’ll be uncomfortable. So even if you believe you have enough room to seat and feed 15 people, ask yourself: is this really the case? Or are you literally cramming people to sit and eat side by side in a manner that is going to be culturally uncomfortable?
It’s little things like this that may seem like superficial details, but in fact, they make a huge difference when the baby shower actually happens. So if you don’t really have enough space, then take steps to find more space; or, at the very least, don’t serve foods like soups that require a stable eating area (firm chair and firm table). If you absolutely can’t find enough space for all of the guests, choose foods like dry sandwiches that people can eat as they stand, or sit on a stairwell. Obviously, the ideal is to have everyone sit. But if you can’t, then your choice of catering can make things as good as they can be, all things considered.
Co-ed baby showers? This term doesn’t actually mean that couples should be invited to baby showers. Rather, it refers to the husband of the mother-to-be inviting his friends to the baby shower. A very good trend over the last generation or so is that more men are participating in the whole childbirth experience. Many men are now also involved in the birth itself, assisting the mother with coaching and helping her endure the stress. In this light, it’s not strange to imagine that men are participating in baby showers in unprecedented numbers. The decision to have men at the baby shower – and these would be friends of the father – is a decision that, naturally, would be made by both would-be parents. It’s nothing that the baby shower producer (you!) should assume; because there may be pros and cons about the wisdom of this co-ed option.
If you decide to invite men, then ensure that this is reflected on the invitation. Also, keep in mind that many men consider Sunday to be a holy day in more than just religious terms. During football season (October through to January), Sunday is a very important day for many men; and showing up to a shower might be the last thing that they want to do. So just bear this in mind, and if you have to do things on a Sunday, make sure that it isn’t Super Bowl Sunday! And there’s a period in March affectionately called March Madness; it’s a very special time for many men (and women!).
If you’re not sure of when these special moments are, consult with your local sports nut. They’ll be able to tell you when high and low season are! Also keep in mind that some of the feminine elements of a traditional baby shower – such as, perhaps, the Tea Party theme – should probably go out the window if you’re doing things co-ed. Find something entertaining and, if at all possible, gender neutral.
Remember too that, just due to cultural upbringing, many men aren’t into the dainty side of life. So while they’ll gladly attend to support their friend (the father-to-be), don’t expect them to get all teary eyed as they discuss why Little Women was the most important book in their life.
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